Articles, advice and tips for fathers - Reluctant Dad

Why have a baby?

I don’t know. I suppose if you had some sort of incredibly important and top secret information that you feel could only be trusted to someone you had helped to create, then you might have a kid. Other than that, I still have no idea. It’s not like the world is dangerously under populated. And there’s a fairly slim chance that your offspring will cure the world’s ills, but a very good chance that your kid will grow up to contribute to them, being human and all.

If you ask your partner why she wants a baby the answer will be some sort of variation on, “It will be nice.” Well, that’s not a certainty. There’s equal chance it won’t be nice. I guarantee it won’t be nice all the time (but I should admit, there are moments that have a smattering of niceness about it. Like when they’re asleep. That’s nice). A more correct answer from your breeding counterpart would be, “I am hard wired to breed. Social pressures during my upbringing and millions of years of evolution make it impossible for me to not want a baby. I am blind to all logic and rational thought. I must have a baby.” That answer, while not very helpful, I think is fairly accurate and something you might be able to accept.

The question “Wouldn't you like to have a baby?” isn’t a question. It is in fact a signal that you’re in for trouble. You might win the occasion reprieve, lasting days or even weeks, but eventually you will lose and fatherhood will be in your future.

I guess, at this point, be flattered that your partner has decided you are the one worthy enough to have a child with. That’s pretty wild when you think about it. Of all the people out there your partner has somehow concluded that you are suitable enough to have and, presumably, raise children with. It should dawn on you that you have qualities that shine through, no matter how hard you’ve tried to keep them hidden from public view. Feel good about that.

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